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I would appreciate it if you read this to the very end, and possibly add a comment.

I'm not sure if the story of how I became a writer is an odd or interesting one, but I've been thinking about some things lately, and I decided to share it with you all.

I was either nine or ten, and I had just began to see the use of computers. 90% of my friends had a MySpace. MSN Chat, or whatever, and even though I didn't exactly want those, I wanted to "surf the web" all on my own. So, after much begging of my parents, I finally got an hour on our crappy old desktop. I was ecstatic. You want to know what the first thing I Googled was?

"Pokemon Sir Aaron love story."

I had just gotten the movie Pokemon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew. I had "fallen in love," or what my young mind deemed as love, with the character of Sir Aaron. Why I decided to type in "love story," I'll never really know, but it lead me to this little site called Fanfiction.net. The first fanfiction I ever read was one titled "R.O.A.D: Return of Aaron Dragon!" by MR. Duellist. I'm pretty sure they deleted their profile, but that story was what made me fall in love with fanfiction, and the idea of writing.

So, I thought to myself, let's do a little of this ourselves, Bridget!

I found a notebook and immediately began my own fanfiction--a tale of me being the strongest Trainer to have ever lived, and everyone loved me. I made myself into the most Mary Sue-ish thing you could think of...and Mew was my mother. Yep. My ten-year-old brain was a creative genius.

Anyway. I wrote a lot of crappy little fanfics in a multitude of notebooks over the year of sixth grade, and I slowly began to become more infatuated with writing. I believed I had a talent for it, per se, and decided that it would be the career I would pursue. By the time seventh grade rolled around, I was the most weeaboo little freak you could ever think of. I ran like the ninjas do in Naruto during PE. I pretended I was an alchemist like Edward Elric. I daydreamed about defeating all the bullies at my school with my team of legendary Pokemon. I talked about anime, manga, fanfiction and the like NON. STOP. And that's when everyone at my small Catholic school of twenty people per class began to shun me even more than they already did. I had always been the center of bullying because I had the tendency to be a crybaby and have an overactive imagination that presented itself constantly during school, so my new love for anime and fanfiction and the like just gave them their ultimate weapon to use against me.

I tolerated the bullying in seventh grade with my head held high because I believed that once I was a successful writer, everyone would look back on those days and feel guilty. But deep inside? It hurt. I felt like my heart was tearing into every time I was ridiculed by my classmates, friends, and even teachers. My Catholic school always preached "God's love" and all that shit, but frankly it was the exact opposite. I think that's when my love for demonic things and general dislike of religion truly began--as a well to "rebel" against a system that was supposed to make me feel better, but when in fact it did the complete opposite.

Eighth grade year, I had toned down a bit. I had begun to post my stories on Fanfiction.net (all Naruto, of course), and people liked them. That had satisfied me, so I kept my fangirlish ways inside me more than I had the previous year. A good friend of mine joined me in my fanfiction endeavor, and we believed ourselves to be the most popular Naruto fanfiction authors ever.

Then high school came.

Freshman year, I was scared, unsure, and just all-around petrified of what to do. My high school isn't that big, really, but I had come from a small Catholic school where we had been with the same group of kids for eight years. It was a tough change for me. To make matters worse...my friend who wrote stories with me completely abandoned me. She called me childish and immature, and threw away the notebooks we had been working on for almost two years. She didn't want to be around me, because she was scared that if I talked one word about anime or manga, her new jock friends would look at her like the freak I was. I was completely distraught. I cried every day when I came home from school, and I slowly began to withdraw from everyone around me. That's when my depression really decided to rear its ugly head and give me a formal hello, and it's never really left me to this day, either.

Eventually we patched things up, but I had learned some hard lessons. One: to not overdue it when talking about the world of anime in public, because let's be honest...a lot of the world despises it. Two: that my stories were absolutely overdone and idiotic, and it was a shame I became "popular" on them. Three: I had to start focusing on original stories and not fanfiction if I wanted to become a famous writer.

And so began my struggle to attempt to be a mature writer. I tried to start my own stories, but they always fell flat, and I would lose interest. So, I went back to fanfiction, and this time I tried my hardest to make everything a believable, not over-done story that I would be proud of when people enjoyed it. I still made a lot of mistakes, of course, but I like to believe I was slowly getting better with my words.

And then sophomore year approached. The year I found Hetalia.

The weeaboo in me returned.

I became obsessed. Ideas constantly floated into my head, and I was always thinking about Hetalia. Hetalia became my drug. It was unhealthy. I started to overdo it yet again with talking about my love for anime and manga in public, and my friends got increasingly annoyed. And I was too thick headed to see it.

And then, low and behold, I found a new style of writing that I immediately took a liking too...

Reader inserts.

They were fascinating to a little weeaboo freak like me. A story where you are the main character? And one where your favorite characters lavish steamy romance onto you? I loved every aspect of it. I began to write nothing but fanservice-y reader inserts, and that's when my Hetalia "fame" truly began. I forgot about my previous declare to write fanfictions that would carry some semblance of a message with them, and became focused on only reader inserts and smut and fluff and everything that anyone out of the Hetalia fandom cringes at. I became one of "those" writers--the ones that I now shake my head at sadly.

But the happiness writing reader inserts and plotless smut gave me was just a bandage for a disease. My depression came back in full force because suddenly I realized, "This is not what I promised myself I was going to do with my life." All those original story ideas I had wanted to write down were gone, replaced by nothing but make out scenes and poorly written sex. I tried my damnedest to continue being the fanservice writer I had become, but it was no use. To me, writing was the only thing I could do, and here I was, fucking it all up.

During the summer, I broke down. Hard. I hated myself for what I had become. I felt childish. Stupid. Immature. Everything I had told myself I was going to grow out of. I cried constantly. I continuously wanted to hurt myself. Everything started to fall apart, because yet again I had withdrawn and become a hermit who did nothing but sit in her house all day and write stupid, useless fanfiction rather than hanging out with the friends I tried so hard to keep.

Fastforward to a few months ago, when the lemon purge happened. I was pissed--utterly, extremely pissed. "THIS STUFF MADE ME POPULAR AND NOW THEY'RE GONE OH MY FUCKING GOD MY LIFE IS OVER." That was pretty much what ran through my head for an entire day.

But then...I thought about it.

What's the use of writing smut and the like? It's nothing but plotless fanservice that really gets you nowhere in life. Especially when it's fanfiction. I looked back on my writing and became completely disgusted with myself--hell, I almost deleted everything in a fit of revulsion. But then I calmed down, and in the span of five minutes, I'd like to say I matured.

I decided to write as correctly and properly as I could so I could still say things like "learn how to write" and be justified, since I would make the same mistakes I constantly belittled in others' writing. I decided to stop with the fanservice, and for the remainder of my fanfiction career, I would try to always write something that either had some sort of message or was just absolutely as original as possible. I felt like it would be the best thing to slowly worm my way out of the depression I had put myself into. At last, I began my hand at poetry and the like, and found I truly enjoyed it.

Now, all I need to do is seriously start working on the original stories that have piled up in the back of my mind; one day finish them, and take them to get published, and...hope for the best.

So that's the story of my writing career from then to now. I left quite a few things out, but this journal has already become obnoxiously long, so that's okay.

...I really would appreciate a word or two if you read this whole thing. It feels good to finally get this off of my chest, and I just want to see what people think of it.

Thank you.
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:iconespada-kitsuki:
Espada-Kitsuki Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, yes. I think we have somewhat similar lives. I'm, right now, in my last year at a Catholic grammar school, but I spent the first four years of my schooling in a public school. I feel you on the writing--I had a few friends, or at least I thought I did, but I find that friends can leave you easily. Really easily. It's hard to find a good friend who'll always stick with you, no matter what. I had a writing buddy in fourth grade, and although we promised to call and keep writing our original stories, we never did call... one example of how "best buddies" can be easily separated, even when bonded by something like writing. We took our writing seriously, very seriously, but we ended up being split up when I moved schools. Apparently, that's when I stopped writing original things. I used to be full of original ideas.

I think I found fanfiction in what--fifth grade? I was on fanfiction.net too, for a while, and I wrote a bunch of stupid stuff for Hetalia that makes me want to throw up when I look back at them. And boy, when I started writing reader-inserts, I was really into a Mary-Sue mode. Horrifyingly buried deep into a pit that I created myself.

I'd like to say that I was the strong type when it came to bullying and sensitivity, but, eh... no. In fifth grade, I got a good sense of what it was like to be at the bottom. For God's sake, it was the first year that I was in a Catholic grammar school and I already had been teased, and someone stole my notebooks and wrote stupid and not-very-nice things in them. I guess you could say I was teased because I was a writer, and for some reason, the writer was labelled geek/nerd. Or maybe it was because, afterwards, I became an anime fanfiction writer that I overdid it?

Even now I look back to my anime days and think, "Wow. I was one crazy *bleep* back then." Come to think of it, I still have the weeaboo charm, and it's not exactly a great thing to have handy.

But it gets better. After I took up reader-inserts, I started to improve my writing and try to form a style. I ended up going after several things: plot, detail, and a good voice. After starting the ClaudexReaderxSebastian, I started to go uphill. That piece was a great improvement for me.

But in earlier this year, I got into poetry because of an assignment: once a week, we have to do something for our spelling unit to earn points for grading. One of the items was to write poetry, so I gave it a shot. My first attempts were horrible, but I got better (I think?). It really got my emotions out, and I learnt new things from it.

Life can throw tons of obstacles at you, but you've just got to learn to dodge them or overturn them and go on. During this Christmas break, I finally found a few inspirations for original stories, which I realise that I haven't been writing for a long time. Sure, a short anecdote or short story here or there, but never a full book. I'm working on each obstacle in my life, starting from writing all the way up to depression and family matters.

Things get better as you move along, and although it seems that life throws one thing after another at you, you never should give up--seriously, people underestimate the power of determination.

Find a goal, put your efforts into it, and make it there, and slowly all your problems will fade. Once you make it and mature a bit, you'll see that the problems that once seemed gigantic will be more of an anthill than a mountain.

You're a great writer, and you've always been one of my favourite fanfiction and original authors, if not the best.

I'd like to say, keep up the great work. You inspire me, and I'm sure that you can overcome all these problems. I'll be looking forward to buying one of your original novels one day.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I...wow. Thank you for sharing that. It makes me feel incredibly special for all those words. That's all I can say, really. Thank you.
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:iconespada-kitsuki:
Espada-Kitsuki Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, you deserved the special words. Frankly, I'm surprised that anyone on dA had a life so similar to what I've, so far, been through...
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:icondarknessonmyeyes:
DarknessOnMyEyes Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I admit. I absolutely love Reader-inserts (currently, I guess). I try really hard not to be one of those authors, as you said, but it's... Hard. I think the only way for me not to be one of those is when I write sad stuff.
The main reason I look up to you? Because you can take something that doesn't belong to you, but add your own style and things, and make it look like something completely new and original. I kinda hope to become like you, someday. Not that I'll copy your writing style, because that would really defeat the point of trying to be original, but I'll read your work and try to come up with my own thing, my own ideas (Even though I have a lot of them, I can't get them into paper >.< It's like for you, I lose interest rather quickly). You're really a true inspiration :)
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the words. I never really thought that people would see my work as something to be admired, but with everyone saying these things...it's kind of getting through to me.
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:icondarknessonmyeyes:
DarknessOnMyEyes Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem :) I'm only, like always, telling the truth. Well, I understand those people, seeing as I'm one of them. Your work is truly amazing.
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:iconheyluna:
HeyLuna Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
This is truly inspiring. I love to read Reader-inserts (though some are just so... gah). I would love to make some, but I fear that it would come out rather stupid, poor written and such. The thing that impresses me the most is your struggle to get out of it, or at least keep it original.

I would love to read your own original stories someday! Please keep up the had work, and remember that all your watchers love you!
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
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:iconlilredbird101:
LilRedBird101 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I haven't really written any fanfic down (though I've tried I just get caught up in other things); they're all just in my head. But I've told my pals about them and they accept them after all our group is basically a collaboration of different personalities and intrests so there's really not any 'in' or 'out'. I'm sorry it's been so rough for you, but I'm REEEAAALLLYYY glad it's better now. MENTAL HUGS ALL AROUND!!
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yay hugs!
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:iconimagination-junkie:
imagination-junkie Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013
It seems like a lot of people start writing fanfiction in a similar way. I know I did, though I was quite a bit older. I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself though.
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad I "learned" at an early age, but it's still difficult to look back on it all.
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:iconepicbleachfan998:
epicbleachfan998 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I know exactly how you feel. I've been dissed by my own family for my love of anime. When I admitted I preferred J-Pop/J-Rock over regular American music, my dad flipped. Saying how I don't even know what it means, so how can I like it? It made me feel like crap. But I kept my music. If he had a problem with my opinion, then he can say whatever he wants.
But at least he likes some anime.
My mom on the other hand hates it. Which is fine by me. :l
Anime has helped me get out of tough times. It's picked up the pieces and put them back together. I've met people who have the same problems. We've become great friends and bonded over the stuff we liked.
I hate it when people judge others for who they are. It makes them bullies, scum, maybe worse. Everybody is their own person. If people have problems with anybody's personality, they should just accept them for who they are.
Anytime I get put down, I always know I have many ways of getting back up. I have friends, writing, all of my hobbies and passions. So take that life. You can't keep me down forever. Just stand right back up and tell life who's boss. Keep up the awesome work. I'll be here for you dear. Don't be afraid to ask for help or support if you ever need it. :)
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. That means a lot--you don't know how much.
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:iconepicbleachfan998:
epicbleachfan998 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Aww, c'mere~! :iconletmehugyouplz:
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:iconvampimummy:
VampiMummy Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, that was really inspiring. We have the same background, but I never told a soul about my love for writing until I was so sure about it when I had won 2nd place in an essay writing contest when I was 15. I really loved writing since way back when anime filled my mind with unimaginable things, and when I got hooked to A LOT of video games, movies and the ideals of steam punk, magic, alternate worlds and the like. For me, being part of fanfiction is just baby steps to the real writing. Reading books also paved way for me to be enthusiastic about my original stories. And right now? I'm really excited for my results into my dream college where I can learn to be better at it. Don't feel bad about all that, for you were an inspiration to me when I thought that maybe being a fanfiction writer was bad. (Well, to me that is, just hear me out first.) But hey, that's how everybody started out right?
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
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:iconvienna-kangaroo:
vienna-kangaroo Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's actually rather inspiring to read such a story. I guess it's always just amazing to see how we all improve over time, and I loved this little memo of your life. It's very interesting.

There may be hope for me yet.

But really, I just think you should be proud of yourself, proud that you can be as mature as you are when I've seen people your age and older who are no where close.

So good on you. Be proud of yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you've become. :)
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There is hope for you yet. Trust me.

Thank you.
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:iconvienna-kangaroo:
vienna-kangaroo Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Heheh... thank you. That means a lot.

No problem. ^^
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:iconyellowfire7:
yellowfire7 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The beginning of this story sounded very familiar to me, because that's fairly similar to the way I found fanfiction. I was into competitive battling and looking up movesets for a pokémon when, instead, a story popped up. It was a cute little story about a Gardevoir making a wish for her trainer to understand his team, and it came true! Uncomfortable truths were revealed and hearts were warmed. I followed that story to FFN, and there had the realization that anyone can write. It's not this secret thing you have to earn or train for; literally anyone can do it (though it may be somewhat harder to become good at it). It was a short step to "I want to write something too" and here we are.

But wow. The steps you took to get where you're at are so numerous they should be a dance. Depression isn't an easy thing to get rid of. It has a habit of sticking around and the going is slow, but I think you'll make it. You matured, took a look at yourself, and decided what you wanted to be, and that focus is probably the best help you can give yourself.

I wish the best of luck to you. Any time you need it, you have my support (and that of many others as well).
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Reply
:iconworldpeaceismine:
worldpeaceismine Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's good that you realise your talent. If you still don't, think about this journal. Who, could write a journal like a best-selling bio? Who?
And I don't think you're immature, or childish or anything like that. Whatever you can write well, is a skill. Like I said before, being able to write ANYTHING so well is more than a skill. It, my friend, is a gift. A rare one. To be able to relate to one's work so easily. To be able to relate to Y-O-U-R-S. Before I leave... I look forward to seeing you in your very OWN book signing.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so freaking much.
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:iconworldpeaceismine:
worldpeaceismine Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
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:iconmrcoolorange:
MrCoolOrange Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really nice Journal and Bio of your life haha :) Its nice to hear a little story about the writers life and how they started out! But I must disagree on something with you. "Two: that my stories were absolutely overdone and idiotic, and it was a shame I became "popular" on them." It wasnt a shame? You became popular because people liked them. You had fans tha obviously loved to read your stories just like today! But You need to look at something this way. Its okay for you to over talk about your obsession for certain types of stories. My weakness I feel is rambling on about love stories when i really never had one of my own. But I try to cut back because im afraid people would actually think im weird for writing about Boy Meets Girl a Girl Meets Boy Over and over again. Even though I have had some really amazing Ideas and would love to post them because its a nice feeling you get when you hit the upload button. But You started out young and you climbed steps and to be honest your still climbing up steps. You learn from your mistakes thats life no matter how old you are. You might think years from now way differently on how you made stories. But sometimes you get that feeling like all them stories were a waste. When they wernt. You have admirers from them and people favoriting them. Certain people like certain stuff. Tbh. Im into the "you" stories along with Romance stories and im not afraid to admit that. But what I hope you see and understand is. Its not about what you write. How you write. There are many people that have they're own story genres. You write your pokemon you write your Hetalia You will find fans that are into that stuff. (ex) Pokemon for younger generations and Hetalia for the teen group but love stories for the older? If that sorta makes sense. You make FANTASTIC stories. They are long lol very long. And nice to read. You have me as a supporter and a fan. :) Thank you for sharing your interesting History with us, It was great! :) Well have a nice night! Thank you for the joy of your stories! :D
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconmrcoolorange:
MrCoolOrange Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your Welcome :)
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:iconperfectpunkalchemist:
PerfectPunkAlchemist Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
Your sory sound somewhat similar to mine. Would it be okay if I made this into a kind of tag thing? If not, I'm perfectly fine, I just was inspired.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
...actually, I would flat-out love it if you did that.
Reply
:iconperfectpunkalchemist:
PerfectPunkAlchemist Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah! I'll start it now!
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:iconhetaliamrsspain:
HetaliaMrsSpain Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're past is similar to a lot of writers,
But what made you different was you were a passive fighter.
You indulged in an art that truly does let expression become the driver,
That perturbed you, made you shiver, like suffering from a disgusting fever.

Yes, Hetalia is a drug, of which we can't seem to get enough.
We immediately take to the idea of hot guys with romantic intelligence, ranging from smut to fluff.
These are just outlets help our mindless addiction.
That incurable obsession.

What made my respect grow for you today was your choice to mature.
To strive through hardships alone at such a young age, I feel pity, and wish you a better future.
I have no doubt you will become the aspiring author you wish to be.
And hopefully, from the chains of depression, you shall be set free.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.
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:iconhetaliamrsspain:
HetaliaMrsSpain Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome.
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:iconrinnybunny-chan:
RinnyBunny-chan Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
May I introduce you to this song? I'm sure you've heard it/heard of it. [link]

I'm a Christian myself (Presbyterian, to be exact), and I believe this song may be able to give some comfort to your heart. I dearly hope so.

I'm sorry for the hurt you've experienced with your Catholic school. It really seems ridiculous and hopeless, when you are put down by the very people you share your faith with; the people who you are supposed to be your brothers and sisters in Christ. You kind of loose faith and hope in the point of believing in God, right? Yeah, I've experiencing great hardships with my social life in my church as well, so I can understand a little bit of what you're feeling... :/

However, I like to interpret this song as an ode to God; that he raises us up when we feel like we are in the darkest pits. When we are full of despair and suffering, he comes and sits with us. He wants to talk with you, wants to have a relationship with you- with each individual; as he loves each and every one of us.

There is another interpretation of this song, where this is a song dedicated to a person that helps us through the hard times, whether it be a friend, parents, lover, etc. Similar themes, but not quite.

However, I prefer the first interpretation; that one that involves God, because I've experienced first-hand, how sometimes, even the people are depend on and love the most, cannot help us. There are some aspects to human nature that cannot be satisfied; have you ever felt that way? I know I sure have! And for me atleast, God has been able to do that.

He has been able to fill the loneliness in my heart. He is able to raise me up when my spirits were low, when I felt like all hope was lost.

So, it's not really about religion. That's man's way of trying to seem righteous and holy. I believe that faith in God, should be a personal relationship with him.

I hope I could help lift your spirits, even by a tiny bit, and maybe even help your wounded faith? I hope you stay strong with your passion in writing, and develop even further as you progress on! The best wishes to you! :') <3
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'll just say thank you and leave it at that.
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:iconpinksakura66:
pinksakura66 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student General Artist
A healthy balance, what a mature decision. I can relate to your comparison of Hetalia as a drug. I experienced something similar over the summer, constantly reading Hetalia readerXinserts as if missing one would mean I missed out on a treasure. I even tried writing one, which turned out disappointing for myself. Halfway through I realized that I fucked up the characters to fit the "steamy" story line. Same icky 'oh god no' feeling you described. It feels gross though, doesn't it? Kind of dulls out the feeling after every one you read. For some it's a break, others an escape. It gets to a point where everything sucks because it's not real, and you read/write more to feel better. It's a dangerous circle. I'm glad we've both managed to get out. And about being a "weaboo". Just be glad it happened at a young age. Be glad you are figuring out these complicated things now. Be proud of yourself. We all have to go through that phase at one point. however, I'm sad that you can't express your love of anime as freely as you would like. Life with moderation is a healthy one. It doesn't hurt to have a crush on someone you know can't be real. It's really no different than a silly celebrity crush. I guess what I'm trying to say is that fanfiction/fluff/lemons/fangirling and all that jazz really isn't that bad when done in moderation. You pretty much said all this, but I felt like reiterating it because I liked the subtle points you made so much. I really respect you too, as a writer and a person. Keep growing, I'll be watching. (in a non-creepy way) :)
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. Thank you very much. It's good to know there are others out there that know exactly what I'm describing.
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:iconpinksakura66:
pinksakura66 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Me too.
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:iconkarnya:
Karnya Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You and I are actually suprisingly very alike; your story through junior high and high school is so similar to myself. I was bullied, belittled, teased, victimised in every way for my love of anime and fanfiction. However, I used fanfiction as a tool to make my writing better so that the original tales I have inside my head would be beautifully written. I still write fanfiction, I enjoy it a lot to this day because I like the characters that people like Masashi Kishimoto and Tite Kubo have thought up. However, I completely understand the fact that you want to write seriously.
I hope you are able to get over this depression you're battling. I know how it feels, I am no stranger to it. Good luck with your original stories.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I do have to thank fanfiction for teaching me the rules of writing, I just wish I could write something other than it now.

But thank you.
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:iconkarnya:
Karnya Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You'll get there, it will just take some time to adjust. Right now I do both, but I don't release my original work online. I also use fan fiction as a way to get a 'reader fan-base' if you will. People who are willing to read my original stuff when it comes out. I'm sure when you put out your stuff, plenty of people will read it.
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:icona-lovely-anxiety:
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think you and me are a lot alike. But in some ways we're a lot different.

It hurts to be bullied, that much I know, but it's amazing how you still kept in tact what you loved to do. That's an amazing feat that I would love to have. I also know that's it's hard to lose sight of what you want in life. What you want out of your writing.

I've been what they call a "serious" writer for almost two years. I get almost no fame, and I'm not popular, but I write from my heart and I write my truths out. It's what I love. But I got fed up, almost like you, and wrote one measly reader-insert on a different, new account. I got so much fame. So much praise.

But you know? It's not satisfying when you aren't writing what you want to. So I say go for it. Who cares if you loose people? But I doubt any of your true watchers will leave. Certainly not me.

And though I'm a ghost watcher of sorts, I believe in you. And if you need help, don't ever be stubborn. Ask for help. You have tons of support behind you. Remember that.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much.

I hope I can shake off fanfiction and become a true author soon.
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:icongodblesstheducks:
GodBlessTheDucks Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Once again, I still think all of the things you write are wonderful. :squee:

I've kind of done the same thing. I was the "weeaboo" that you described when I first got into anime. And when I found about cosplaying and fanfiction, you can just imagine what happened. I guess I'm still pretty immature in the fanfiction area. :shrug: But I've never actually talked about anime in public. I used to think anime was dumb XD So I kind of learned from early experience that if you like it, you shouldn't share it with people who don't. And if I do talk about it with my friends around other people, they shun us, call us weird, and talk about us behind our backs.

I'm like you. If I start an original story, I write a few chapters of it, then loose interest and give up, even though I want to be an author as well. That's why I resorted to writing fanfiction. That way you don't have to come up with as much stuff, right? No original characters, no settings, just a plot.

And I'm also like you because I beat myself up for never carrying through with an original plot and just writing fan fiction and thinking I'm all wonderful and stuff, even though I'm not really all that good.

Sorry for the rant, but I don't want you to feel like you're the only one.

Anyways, no matter what you write, I'll more than likely read it, because I've enjoyed everything you've written so far. So keep it up, don't throw away your dream. :heart:
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much.

I wish I had known not to speak of anime in public back then like you did.
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:icongodblesstheducks:
GodBlessTheDucks Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I kind of knew about the "what goes around, comes around" type of thing. I used to make fun of the younger kids in my class that liked it (of course, they were still at Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon XD) so I knew I would be made fun of.

It's one of those things that you wish you could go back and change, right?
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:iconpiezelle:
Piezelle Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist
I believe in you, okay?
I know that won't help much, but really, I'm sure you'll reach your goal.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Trust me; it helps. Thank you.
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:iconpiezelle:
Piezelle Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist
Okay. :iconsweethugplz:
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