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February 21, 2013
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Poetry is:



the adhesive to
a fragmented soul;

broken wings that still dream of

F L Y I N G

how snapdragons breathe stardust
and orchids perform ensembles.

when 'imagination' and 'reality' at last discover a
c r o s s r o a d s,
and rush to embrace one another with fervent limbs.

why gravity seems to f
                                     a
                                        l
                                          l
, taking the world with it.

what flows through the veins of every pair of [shipwrecked; star-crossed] lovers.

who I am; who I was; and who I want to be.

Now that I've grown more comfortable with poetry, I realize just how important it's become in my life. And I realize that in a sense, it's always been important to me. As has writing. Poetry is just one big step in my "literary career."

So. This is what poetry is for me.

I wanted to play around with formatting a bit more since I'm still trying to develop some sort of "style," so this was fun.

One of the few pieces I am requesting critiques on, since this is also a piece that is extremely relevant and meaningful to me. Though it may not be as well-structured as some of my other pieces.
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:iconforbravery:
Hi there! :3 there is a lot in this poem that settled nicely with me and a few things that didn't quite mesh.

I love the imagery, the play with words that snapdragons (animal-like, but floral) are breathing stardust (a bit like fire, I suppose). I really thought that this line was unique, and it's my favorite part of the whole piece.

It's very interesting how you chose to give your poem some visual movement by creating s p a c e between the letters or arranging them in a certain way, but I think that "crossroads" doesn't have as much of an impact as the others, simply because the visual didn't represent the literal meaning of the word, I would have done

R
CROSS
A
D
S

Because that is more literal, like your other visual pieces.

On the other hand, "shipwrecked/star-crossed" is a bit cliché, the complete opposite of the originality of the snapdragons line.

The poem is a bit self-declarative, it is clear that along some lines, this poem was really written for yourself (see the last line of your poem) and because of that it is difficult to critique. How can I fairly critique something that has loads of personal significance that I will never understand. Plus, personal pieces are often times difficult to relate to unless you are very general and vague I your descriptions, which doesn't make for good poetry anyway. ( your poem was not general or vague, so in my opinion it dodged that bullet quite nicely) :3

It was definitely interesting. Thank you for that.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

:icontruthistruth:
Lovely, and with excellent flow. I like how you italicized some of the words, and the style in which you wrote them. Your vision was flawless.

However, I've seen many other pieces similar to this, which brings the originality down a bit. Still, that does not effect the beautiful vocabulary you incorporated into it. I adored the imagery as well.

You technique was quite good as well, I must say, though it wasn't perfect. Honestly, there isn't much wrong with this poem at all. It's an excellent piece, and it does an wonderful job of defining the word "Poetry".

Excellent work!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*crossroad

anyway, friking love this! :love:
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:icongreenmusiclovingfrug:
This is so pretty!
I seriously like your poetry style.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
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:iconhetalia-spain:
Hetalia-Spain Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
((Did you know I love it when you play with the format? It really makes the poem pop even more than it already does. Like that extra special touch. Keep up this fabulous work~))
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:iconnarcaholic:
Narcaholic Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Student
Lovely :heart:
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
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:iconlilredbird101:
LilRedBird101 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013   General Artist
This was beautiful and fun. Don't get angry, this is just my opinion, but I think this is one of your top works from the past few weeks. It feels happy and BAAA!! I don't know what it is!!
WAIT!
Lovely. Flowing. Captivating.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not angry. Thank you very much.
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:iconlilredbird101:
LilRedBird101 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013   General Artist
You're very welcome :)
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:iconautumn--thunder:
autumn--thunder Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student General Artist
This is lovely, and I can really tell how much it has come from the heart. (: I reckon all of your poetry is beautiful. You should be proud of how far you've come.
Poetry is a wonderful thing to take pleasure in.

I wrote some myself, today, after like eight months of not doing it. That's what school does to me.
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