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Poetry Literature by TruthisTruth


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Submitted on
February 21, 2013
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Poetry is:



the adhesive to
a fragmented soul;

broken wings that still dream of

F L Y I N G

how snapdragons breathe stardust
and orchids perform ensembles.

when 'imagination' and 'reality' at last discover a
c r o s s r o a d s,
and rush to embrace one another with fervent limbs.

why gravity seems to f
a
l
l
, taking the world with it.

what flows through the veins of every pair of [shipwrecked; star-crossed] lovers.

who I am; who I was; and who I want to be.

Now that I've grown more comfortable with poetry, I realize just how important it's become in my life. And I realize that in a sense, it's always been important to me. As has writing. Poetry is just one big step in my "literary career."

So. This is what poetry is for me.

I wanted to play around with formatting a bit more since I'm still trying to develop some sort of "style," so this was fun.

One of the few pieces I am requesting critiques on, since this is also a piece that is extremely relevant and meaningful to me. Though it may not be as well-structured as some of my other pieces.
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:iconforbravery:
Hi there! :3 there is a lot in this poem that settled nicely with me and a few things that didn't quite mesh.

I love the imagery, the play with words that snapdragons (animal-like, but floral) are breathing stardust (a bit like fire, I suppose). I really thought that this line was unique, and it's my favorite part of the whole piece.

It's very interesting how you chose to give your poem some visual movement by creating s p a c e between the letters or arranging them in a certain way, but I think that "crossroads" doesn't have as much of an impact as the others, simply because the visual didn't represent the literal meaning of the word, I would have done

R
CROSS
A
D
S

Because that is more literal, like your other visual pieces.

On the other hand, "shipwrecked/star-crossed" is a bit cliché, the complete opposite of the originality of the snapdragons line.

The poem is a bit self-declarative, it is clear that along some lines, this poem was really written for yourself (see the last line of your poem) and because of that it is difficult to critique. How can I fairly critique something that has loads of personal significance that I will never understand. Plus, personal pieces are often times difficult to relate to unless you are very general and vague I your descriptions, which doesn't make for good poetry anyway. ( your poem was not general or vague, so in my opinion it dodged that bullet quite nicely) :3

It was definitely interesting. Thank you for that.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

:icontruthistruth:
Lovely, and with excellent flow. I like how you italicized some of the words, and the style in which you wrote them. Your vision was flawless.

However, I've seen many other pieces similar to this, which brings the originality down a bit. Still, that does not effect the beautiful vocabulary you incorporated into it. I adored the imagery as well.

You technique was quite good as well, I must say, though it wasn't perfect. Honestly, there isn't much wrong with this poem at all. It's an excellent piece, and it does an wonderful job of defining the word "Poetry".

Excellent work!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconbrokengod--veins:
brokengod--veins Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*crossroad

anyway, friking love this! :love:
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:icongreenmusiclovingfrug:
This is so pretty!
I seriously like your poetry style.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
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:iconhetalia-spain:
Hetalia-Spain Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
((Did you know I love it when you play with the format? It really makes the poem pop even more than it already does. Like that extra special touch. Keep up this fabulous work~))
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:iconnarcaholic:
Narcaholic Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Student
Lovely :heart:
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconlilredbird101:
LilRedBird101 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This was beautiful and fun. Don't get angry, this is just my opinion, but I think this is one of your top works from the past few weeks. It feels happy and BAAA!! I don't know what it is!!
WAIT!
Lovely. Flowing. Captivating.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not angry. Thank you very much.
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:iconlilredbird101:
LilRedBird101 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome :)
Reply
:iconvienna-kangaroo:
vienna-kangaroo Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is lovely, and I can really tell how much it has come from the heart. (: I reckon all of your poetry is beautiful. You should be proud of how far you've come.
Poetry is a wonderful thing to take pleasure in.

I wrote some myself, today, after like eight months of not doing it. That's what school does to me.
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am proud. But you know, there's the fact that I think my work is shit.

School sucks the life out of everyone. It's understandable.
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:iconvienna-kangaroo:
vienna-kangaroo Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Good. (: But really, it's not true. None of your work is terrible.

Yeah, it sucks. Thanks.
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:iconcrazycharlette1415:
CrazyCharlette1415 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Playing with the formatting brings a whole new perspective to poems. :)
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:iconcrazycharlette1415:
CrazyCharlette1415 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Playing with the formatting brings a whole new perspective to poems. :)
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It does. I enjoy doing it.
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:iconprussianposeidon:
PrussianPoseidon Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student General Artist
stop being talented or i'm telling the allers twins about your deviantart and they will talk about it ALLLL philosophy class
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
If you do that I will murder your face off with a rubber chicken and paste it to the ass of a pig as it sits down in a mixture of icy mud and shit. :heart:
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:iconstarlightshoals:
StarlightShoals Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student Writer
I think it's truly beautiful, and it reflects a lot of my own inner feelings. ^^
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
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:iconfindmyface:
findmyface Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Last line is absolutely perfection, right at the top of the list of awesome, wonderful job.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconsmile047:
Smile047 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This may be the best thing I've seen on dA so far. :iconclapplz:
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It is nowhere near that caliber. :| if it is, then why hasn't it gotten the attention of the masses? Because it's not that good; though I am proud of it. This is merely something that can't be considered the best, because if it was, people would flock to it.
Reply
:iconsmile047:
Smile047 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I'm kind of weird. Just because it's not the best to everybody doesn't mean it's not the best to someone. Also, I love your new avatar. :)
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:icondeathsdoor4242564:
DeathsDoor4242564 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow that is a really good piece, nice writing!
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much!
Reply
:icondeathsdoor4242564:
DeathsDoor4242564 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome :)
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:iconmisery007:
Misery007 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Woah. I really like this! It's well written, and inspiring. I love that the piece is talking about creativity, poetry and imagination, and the lines in this poem actually do give you a imaginative feel. I especially like the line about snapdragons breathing stardust. Extremely well written!
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think the snapdragon line is my favorite as well. Thank you very much.
Reply
:icongodblesstheducks:
GodBlessTheDucks Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This has to be one of the best things I've seen from you. :iconclapplz: Keep it up.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Really? You think so? Thank you very much.
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:icongodblesstheducks:
GodBlessTheDucks Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome. It's true :D
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:iconforxa:
forxa Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
The only thing bugging me is the ending... it's just, are semi-colons used like that? Other than that's it's very good, channeling your emotions into your writing.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
From my experience, in poetry, anything can go. I mean...Emily Dickinson experimented with punctuation a lot. I didn't want to use a regular comma because that wouldn't be strong enough; likewise, a colon would be too strong. Semi-colons often get abused like that, but frankly, I feel it works best for what I write when I use semi-colons in that manner.
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:iconforxa:
forxa Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
Ah okay.
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