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May 10, 2013
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I want orchid fingers,
gossamer & shy.
But my reflection,
she charms vipers
with bloody thorns.

Too many corroded anemones
have taken root in my soul.

My rose-tipped lips
will shatter the mirror,
& her poisonous seeds will
incinerate inside my now
phosphorescent heart.
Hahaha hey guys.

You know all those prompts?

I had some free time in school, and I was going to write something from them.

Then this happened.

Woops.

But I like this one because it's positive and what I need to keep doing.

I like flower analogies.
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:iconrayoung:
I have to say the beginning was really good, but then I got a little confused... What happened to make "you" so bad and is your reflection deadly? I haven't read many poems like this and other than being a bit confusing, it's really well written and thought out. Like I said the beginning was great but the ending got a little wordy, for example I had to go look up "phosphorescent" because I had no idea what it meant! Maybe try using some more well known words. I could feel the want in the start and the corroded anemones in the poem. Good job.
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:iconkushamisaru:
kushamisaru Jun 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm... positive you say...

Well that's a shame because I was gonna say "Hey, buck up! I'm sure that's not true :)" or "It'll get better!" but if this is positive... I need to re-evaluate my words. :shifty:
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:iconespada-kitsuki:
Espada-Kitsuki May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I do like flower analogies!

((My fangame Ibtalia's going to be so full of flowers. So... I like them.))

I can't believe it. You never fail at what you do. Always giving me surprises with what you can do with words.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am a flower. *dances*
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:iconespada-kitsuki:
Espada-Kitsuki May 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*puts you in a face in my house* A very pretty flower, at that.
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:iconhetalia-spain:
Hetalia-Spain May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
((Positive? .... OH. Gotcha. xDD I was like, ooh, pretty poem~ Then it got somewhat dark and mysterious.

You know what flower smells good? Lilacs. Pretty too. There's a lilac bush outside my window, so it always smells fabulous~))
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Shhhhh it's positive from my perspective
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:iconhetalia-spain:
Hetalia-Spain May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
((Pfft~ Okay~ That's good to hear. xD))
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:iconworldpeaceismine:
worldpeaceismine May 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I read the description first and I was like "YAY POSITIVITY!" "ORCHIDS! YAY!" "...bloody...corroded anemones... shatter...poisonous...incinerate..."

Guuuuurl where is that positivity?

But that aside, I absolutely love this. Inspiration comes when we need it least. That's why we writers hate it sometimes.
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
IT IS POSITIVE

LOOK BETWEEN THE LINES
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:iconworldpeaceismine:
worldpeaceismine May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm so sorry but i really dont get it...
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