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Writing by MarieRedCarrot

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Submitted on
August 18, 2013
Submitted with Writer


1,250 (3 today)
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I can't stand the sight of my reflection.

Every time I see her, I cringe. Look at her - the dark shadows beneath her eyes, the slumped shoulders, the half-empty gaze that stares back at me. She's disgusting. She's a monster.

She's me.

But is she real? Am I real?

I don't know.

Maybe she's the real one and the reason she looks the way she does is because she always sees me and is terrified that something horrible will happen. Maybe I'm the real one and I'm terrified that she's going to let that something occur.

Or maybe we're just the same person and I'm letting my thoughts become too unraveled. There's no such thing as another side to a mirror. It's just a piece of glass that reflects that which is in front of its surface. But then again, what do I know? Not much, if I'm being completely honest.

There are times where I'll pass my reflection and stop, stare at her, and the urge to do nothing more but take her hand and say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've said to her and everything I've threatened to do. She doesn't deserve those words. I do. Not her.

I'd like to think my reflection wants to protect me. She doesn't want me to know what's happening on her side of the mirror. Whether it be better or worse than mine, she doesn't want to upset me. Because she is still me and deep down, she loves me for who I am - even if I myself can't seem to share the same sentiments lately.

The few times I do manage to catch a glimpse of something beautiful in the mirror, I have to pause for a moment.

This is me. I shouldn't be loathing her - me - like this.

Maybe she feels the same and the reason I'm so damn afraid of my reflection is because she knows what needs to be done and I'm too stubborn to listen.

So I suppose I'll keep trying, if only for the sake of my reflection.

Mirror, mirror on the wall...who's the realest of us all?
My attempt at being philosophical while at the same time being utterly, uncomfortably personal.

btw is it just me or is anyone else having trouble submitting stuff? I can't just type or copy/paste words into the text box; it won't load up. I have to do it via stash and I don't really want to do that all the time.
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fallenfromthemoon Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I really, really relate to this. You pretty much described what I sometimes feel.
CutToTheSex Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2013
I know how you feel. Like everything I've looked at in your gallery it's very well written. I checked in your gallery and found a picture of you. You have a very nice reflection.
krisy12 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2013
I have no idea who you are but yet I feel like you know me so well, your ability to express what you (and other people) feel is incredible
killerlord123 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013
Sometimes I stare at the mirror and I wonder who the hell am I...
Great story, very emotional and deep.
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So raw, so beautiful. :heart: Fantastic, Bridget. :)
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. <3
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. <3
Ag-Wolf Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013
DAYUM GURL! :dummy:
I mean... this is super good. :B
On a more serious note, this *is* fantastically well done. It brings up alot of good points and questions for\about people with self-loathing issues, points those people have trouble bringing up themselves because they're so lost in the shroud of pain and misery that they can't see straight. At least that's been my experience.
Plus it begins with a good hook and ends with a really perfect line. Like I said, simply fantastic work. Well done. :clap:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
And that is exactly what I strived for.

I'm glad I managed to get it right.
Reader1320 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013
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