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Literature Text
Pomegranate seeds
have the most
bitter of tastes.
She is more
than a myth,
you know;
unsullied
and untainted,
a spring's
breeze with
the most
arabesque
of lips.
There are more
flames beneath her
skin than in all of
Hades. With every
breath she takes,
winter cries out
for redemption.
She is magenta.
A maiden of
jasper and agate;
lily eyelashes and
locks of supple ivy.
His goddess:
eternal,
unwavering—
a hyacinth among
weeds and sweet
harvest among
the wretched.
Literature
She Dances With Fire
She dances with fire, a dragon in tow.
Twirling with flames; graceful and slow
She dances tonight, in a city of ash.
Her feet leaving footprints, where the sand will splash.
Quietly mourning, as time goes by;
Where once she beheld a home in her eyes...
Yet naught but the barest of bones remain,
And so she dances, to soothe the pain.
Literature
Bones mend, but tell no lies.
You have cataloged your scars
like your body is a library-
to be read through &
learned from.
You think of
all the little boys
whose greedy fingers
graced
your pages.
You are angry-
none
cared for you
properly:
folding
creasing
& breaking
your spine.
They left you
on a shelf
to gather dust.
& why
should you ever
forget that?
Literature
To be a writer
You taste like decaying leaves
and October's bad habits-
when it’s halfway through February
that still haunts these bones.
I have allowed you to
claw your love
into my arms
and chant into my
uninterested ears
for much too long.
I wish I was one of those girls
who could say wild flowers
grow up through my nooks
and my crannies just to tear
through my skin, screaming.
I’m just that dead eyed deer
on the side of the road dreaming
of shoving a pen down my throat
and writing these verses inside out.
I am no scribe, prophet, or spell caster.
I know it.
My skin knows it.
My pen knows it too.
Years and years
from now
my mind will d
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A product of writer's block.
I think those who've been watching me since the beginning know I have the biggest girl crush on Persephone (hence my username) and that she is my patron goddess. I adore her. I adore Hades. They are my mythological OTP. ignore that
So...yeah. Persephone is perfect.
The one other poem I made for her long ago kind of sucked and I felt like she needed a new dedication. <3
edited it a bit because lowercase looked dumb
I think those who've been watching me since the beginning know I have the biggest girl crush on Persephone (hence my username) and that she is my patron goddess. I adore her. I adore Hades. They are my mythological OTP. ignore that
So...yeah. Persephone is perfect.
The one other poem I made for her long ago kind of sucked and I felt like she needed a new dedication. <3
edited it a bit because lowercase looked dumb
© 2013 - 2024 lupus-astra
Comments57
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactHey there,
Prettyflour here on behalf of <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/p/o/p…" alt="
" title="PoeticalCondition" /> with the critique you requested.I want to start by saying that I love your words choices- you certainly know to engage the senses! Throughout the poem you use words combinations and phrases that really send the reader into a place where their senses of taste and site are quite visceral. The imagery you've created is just lovely!
I believe this flows quite nicely, it reads easy and is understandable. I don’t really have any constructive criticism to offer… I think this is wonderful as is!
Thank you and have a great weekend.