Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconprussianpersephone: More from PrussianPersephone


Featured in Collections

Fanfictions by DenimPanda

"literature"? by WinchesterKitty


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
November 13, 2012
File Size
297 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
551 (2 today)
Favourites
33 (who?)
Comments
10
×
                         she closes her eyes
                         
                         just for a single moment

                         she is a goddess
An attempt at somewhat of a haiku. I got the stanzas all correct, but this sounds nothing like an actual haiku. But I'm trying different forms of writing, so I'm not sure if I should be pleased with the outcome or not, since it's just an experiment.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I'm not me.

I'm something--someone--as powerful and as important as a goddess, and all will tremble and cower before me.

And then when I open them again, I'm just me. And I have to pretend that my other reality is just a myth.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlupiniunstar:
LupiniunStar Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013
I love haikus. And this is a great one. Try some more, maybe you'll think they sound better! But I think this one sounds just perfect.
Reply
:iconxtcsx:
xTCSx Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Paints quite the picture. I'd say this was a most successful attempt!
Reply
:icon123servantofthedoll:
123ServantOfTheDoll Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Oh God, the feel from this is remarkable
Reply
:iconpiezelle:
Piezelle Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist
Nice :)
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconcardinaldesertfox:
CardinalDesertFox Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very evocative and powerful. Haiku is a great branching out point for poetry writing because it can feel really limiting, but it forces you to stick to what you really want to say too. Kind of like a sonnet. Great work, I really like this!
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I want to make more haiku that are actually...haiku.
Reply
:iconcardinaldesertfox:
CardinalDesertFox Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haiku is defined by structure, not by content. This was definitely a haiku because you followed the structure, but you'll find your content evolving the more you write it. ^^
Reply
:iconbriannaday:
briannaday Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
I like it. :)
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
Add a Comment: