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Submitted on
November 13, 2012
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                         she closes her eyes
                         
                         just for a single moment

                         she is a goddess
An attempt at somewhat of a haiku. I got the stanzas all correct, but this sounds nothing like an actual haiku. But I'm trying different forms of writing, so I'm not sure if I should be pleased with the outcome or not, since it's just an experiment.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I'm not me.

I'm something--someone--as powerful and as important as a goddess, and all will tremble and cower before me.

And then when I open them again, I'm just me. And I have to pretend that my other reality is just a myth.
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:iconlupiniunstar:
LupiniunStar Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013
I love haikus. And this is a great one. Try some more, maybe you'll think they sound better! But I think this one sounds just perfect.
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:iconxtcsx:
xTCSx Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Paints quite the picture. I'd say this was a most successful attempt!
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:icon123servantofthedoll:
123ServantOfTheDoll Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Oh God, the feel from this is remarkable
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:iconpiezelle:
Piezelle Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist
Nice :)
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
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:iconcardinaldesertfox:
CardinalDesertFox Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very evocative and powerful. Haiku is a great branching out point for poetry writing because it can feel really limiting, but it forces you to stick to what you really want to say too. Kind of like a sonnet. Great work, I really like this!
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I want to make more haiku that are actually...haiku.
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:iconcardinaldesertfox:
CardinalDesertFox Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Haiku is defined by structure, not by content. This was definitely a haiku because you followed the structure, but you'll find your content evolving the more you write it. ^^
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:iconbriannaday:
briannaday Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
I like it. :)
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:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
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