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October 30, 2012
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                                                 Halloween Hijinks

A lot of crazy things tended to happen around you on Halloween every year. Being friends with people who were a tad...strange, for lack of a better term, certainly did have its ups and downs. This year, however, turned out to be the strangest of all.

Actually, strange wasn’t exactly the correct way to phrase it...more like completely and utterly bizarre.

There was an hour until trick or treating. You were busy putting the finishing touches on your costume--you were going as a witch--and were hurriedly brushing out your (h/c) hair into a more manageable state to fit under the black witch’s hat. The dark purple and black witch’s dress had silvery threads oscillating all throughout the fabric, forming shimmering patterns of spider webs, and your black knee-high socks and matching boots made you feel a bit over the top. Never the less, you couldn’t help but grin at your reflection in the mirror as you scanned your appearance with scrutinizing (e/c) eyes.

So what if you may be too old to trick or treat? Halloween was a night to be shared by everyone, regardless of age! ...unless they were a sex offender or pedophile. That was a circumstance in which the fun could be kept contained.

“I hope Gilbert is ready to go,” you muttered to yourself as you shook out the slightly billowy sleeves of the dress and grabbed your bag, imagining just how high you were going to fill it with candy.

Gilbert “the awesome” Beilschmidt just so happened to be your best friend. An arrogant asshole, you honestly had no idea just how exactly you two had hit it off all those years ago. Yet somehow you had managed, and since then both of you had been inseparable. Joining in on your crew were Elizaveta Héderváry and Vladimir Dragomir--who both happened to be the source of major sexual tension, no matter how many times either the Hungarian girl or the Romanian boy denied it.

Gilbert, on the other hand, declared himself “Prussian” rather than German. Apparently, he felt the now fallen nation was much more awesome to illustrate nationality, and you weren’t going to argue. Whatever made the silver-haired, red-eyed boy happy.

Just as you were thinking back to last Halloween when the four of you had each dressed up as a wizard from each House in Harry Potter (you being Hufflepuff, much to your dissent; Gilbert being Gryffindor; Vladimir being Slytherin; and Elizaveta being Ravenclaw) and had caused absolute chaos from both Vlad and Gil’s tendency to be pranksters, your phone rang. Jolting you out of your reminiscence, you picked it up and viewed the caller I.D.

Immediately, you answered. “Gilbert! Are you ready yet? You know, you haven’t even told me what you were going as this year, and I find that very rude. What if I’m not ‘awesome enough’ for your costume, hm? We both know that you’d probably run off to find someone else to bother instead of me--”

A fairly desperate sounding yowl cut you off, and Gilbert’s ever-so-slightly distressed Germanic accented voice rasped over the other line, “(NAME)! The awesome me demands you to get your arsch over here immediately! NO QUESTIONS!” With that, the line went dead.

You stared down at the phone in your hands, blinking rapidly. “...had that been...a cat meowing?” Since when did Gilbert own a cat? You knew he had once owned a baby chick which he had named Gilbird in his own image, per se, but Gilbird had long since grown up and “flown the coop.” So what could Gilbert possibly want? He hadn’t even answered your question about a costume!

Huffing in irritation, you crossed your arms and grabbed your car keys and other things.

“Guess I’ll find out sooner or later...”

                                                                ~X~X~X~

As soon as you had arrived at Gilbert’s house and opened the door (according to said albino, knocking was too unawesome for his home. He really was much too egotistic for his own good), you were met with a chaotic scene. Candy was strewn all over the carpet, and there was a sound of...growling...coming from the kitchen. Wary, you swallowed and brandished your car keys like a dagger, slowly creeping into the kitchen and expecting the worse.

What you didn’t expect was a fluffy white cat sprawled out on the linoleum floor, groaning and hissing.

You stared. “...what the hell?”

Immediately, the cat sprang up and launched itself at your leg, making you shriek when little claws dug into the stockings covering your skin. “(NAME)! Danke Gott you’re here! That arschloch Vladimir did this to me! THE AWESOME ME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DEMON THIS YEAR NOT A VERDAMMEN KATZE!”

You knew that voice. After being best friends with the owner for so long, how could you not? Narrowing your (e/c) eyes as you bent down and carefully took the cat in your arms, lifting him up to get a better look at him. Instantly you were drawn to the familiar crimson-hued eyes, and the way the cat’s expression seemed to just emulate cockiness, even though now it was a tad subdued. You blinked rapidly, continuing to stare, before a snort escaped your lips and you were thrown into a fit of laughter.

“G-Gilbert? I-Is that you?” you managed to choke out, giggling and snorting as the feline in question glared at you, fluffy tail swishing in annoyance.

“Ja, it’s the awesome me! Fucking Vlad got a spell wrong and turned me into a cat! He was supposed to make me have an awesome demon tail and horns! But nein, he turned me into a gottverdammen CAT und now that arschloch und Liz are both running around looking like demons too und I can’t be there UND I AM AN UNAWESOME CAT!” The last bit was ending with a hiss, the hair of his collar all standing on end and ears laid back.

You grinned and shook your head. Vladimir was actually from a long line of Romanian enchanters, and he had the ability to perform magic. It was a secret between the four of you, and Vlad didn’t usually flaunt it. He preferred to keep it hidden just in case something terrible were to arise. You suspected the strawberry blonde had made this “mistake” on purpose so he and Liz could spend Halloween night together alone--it was getting more and more painfully obvious of the affections they held for one another which they tried so desperately to hide.

“Don’t worry, Gil,” you replied cheerfully, patting his silky head with a bigger grin. “I’m sure the spell will wear out by the end of the night. Vlad’s stuff normally doesn’t last too long, yeah? So you’ll be fine. I have an idea as to what you can do for a costume now, anyway! ...how did you use the phone without opposable thumbs to call me by the way?”

“The awesome me used his paws. Duh. I don’t need opposable thumbs to get me through life! ...now what idea are you talking about?” Gilbert answered, tail still swishing though now his eyes had slid shut at the contact of you stroking his head. There was a low rumble coming from his throat, and he obviously was enjoying the attention.

You couldn’t help but think just how adorable and harmless the Prussian was as a cat.

“Well, I’m going as a witch this year,” you gestured down to your outfit vaguely, shaking away the thoughts of calling Gilbert cute. “You could be like my familiar! Witches and cats are always together, right? So...”

“But that’s black cats. Not mein awesome shade,” he snorted obstinately opening one eye and gazing at you.

“Well, then we’ll just be more awesome than your typical black cat and witch duo,” you poked his furry little cheek with another grin, making a mental note to praise Vladimir the next time you saw him. Gilbert Beilschmidt as an adorable, fluffy cat? Probably the best spell blooper he had ever made!

“...fine,” Gilbert finally agreed, giving a short nod. “As long as you give me half the candy we get.”

“Of course, my furry little companion!”

This Halloween was definitely going to be one of the best.

                                                       ~X~X~X~

You were right about that.

This year, you and Gilbert had gotten one of the biggest hauls in the candy department than you could remember. Practically all the houses you had gone to had immediately gushed over the adorable pair the two of you made, (name) the witch and Gilbert the cat. Gilbert himself enjoyed the attention with a palpable egoism. Of course, you had to make sure that he stayed quiet, and had to explain the strange “Kesesese” noises he made upon heaps of acclamation were actually just his meows, and not his slightly creepy laugh.

The only house that had been an exception had been Roderich Edelstein’s, the Austrian musician whom Gilbert shared a long and tumultuous rivalry with. The only reason you had agreed to stop by his house was because you knew if you hadn’t, like every year before, Gilbert would have a complete and utter tantrum. So, against your better judgement, you had walked halfway across town to the aristocratic boy’s home, hoping that the new addition of claws and fangs wouldn’t add more incentive for your feline friend to wreak havoc.

Yet like every year before, said havoc had most definitely been wreaked, and now Roderich’s potted plants on the front porch were torn up, and you could still remember his absolutely enraged voice screaming at the white cat who had dashed away cackling madly and dodging various candies being thrown at him.

That little episode aside, once you had gotten back to Gilbert’s house and dumped the contents of your candy bag out in the kitchen, the Prussian boy-turned-cat had instantly dove into the pile and began to sort out which candy he wanted with his paws and tail.

“I demand the Jolly Ranchers! Oh, and the Hershey’s! And Reese’s! And Skittles! Kesesese, all your precious candy’s vital regions shall belong to me, the awesome Gilbert~!”

Your eyes twitched slightly as you stared at the demonic-looking cat, who was snickering evilly and quickly creating quite the pile of goodies for himself, and leaving you with crappy Tootsie Rolls and those caramels that were half melted and oozing through the wrappers. You were going to ignore the slightly creepy comment about the candy’s vital regions, mainly because it was Gilbert and you weren’t really surprised.

“Gilbert...we made a deal. We share the candy. By each of us having half. Not you taking every goddamn piece and leaving me with the gross and ‘unawesome’ stuff,” you stressed the second to last word slightly sarcastically, yanking on his tail.

Gilbert yelped and jumped up, spinning around and hissing at you before giving you a glare. “But if it weren’t for the awesome me, we would have never gotten so much candy! So I deserve a lot, ja? Und besides, I never got the satisfaction of really trick or treating, since I was a verdammen katze...”

He gave you a sad kitty look, one in which his eyes turned big and shiny and his face...his...face...looked so...

...so...fucking...cute...

Must...resist...urge...to give in...

“...Goddammit, you win,” you grumbled, pushing the rest of the candy pile to him and crossing your arms. “It’s not like I even wanted any candy, you know. Especially since I put absolutely no work into this costume this year. Paying for the dress all by myself, looking all over for the boots, having to wait a month for the hat to arrive all the way from Russia...” Of course, the last bit was a lie (it had been Canada), but hey. You were a girl. You could guilt trip the arrogant ass of a cat as much as you wanted, especially after he thought he could pull this on you. So what if he was insanely adorable as a cat?! You were a woman, dammit, and you had pride!

Gilbert suddenly deflated a bit, looking slightly guilty. Remorse was an emotion that did not show up very often in his expression, and you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. When Gilbert instead brightened immediately afterwards, you knew something fishy was abroad.

“Kesesese~ I know what I’ll do! First I’ll give you one of mein kisses, und then we can talk about dividing up the rest of the candy~” Gilbert gave you a cheeky feline grin, and your eyes trailed to the meager amount of Hershey’s Kisses that were hidden amongst his colossal pile of sweets. You nodded, figuring that it wasn’t such a bad deal. As long as you got yourself some Butterfingers, Reese’s, and those way too addicting Swedish Fish, you were good.

“Close your eyes then! So I can give you one that’s awesome enough,” he snickered, which should have made a warning light flash in your head. However, you were too focused on getting your sweets fix, so you did as you were told and closed your eyes.

You were absolutely baffled when something warm and furry pressed against your mouth a moment later.

You were even more baffled when as soon as said warm and furry substance made contact with your lips, there was a noise like a smoke bomb being set off, and a weight was suddenly pushing down on your chest. Now there was something warm and smooth pressing against your lips, and two hands grabbed both of your arms and pinned you to the floor, two legs pressing against your own and pushing them apart somewhat.

Your (e/c) eyes snapped open to meet mischievously glittering rubies, and instantly you knew that Vladimir’s spell had worn off.

And now an entirely human Gilbert Beilschmidt was kissing you.

Th-that bastard...h-he m-meant...THIS kind of k-kiss...?! I-I’m gonna kill him...!

But you couldn’t. You couldn’t even move. All you could do was lay there in shock as your mouths remained sealed together, cheeks slowly beginning to grow a dark red flush and eyes sliding shut unbidden. Gilbert took that as a sign to continue, and you made a little squeak when his hot tongue dragged across your lips and slowly inched its way inside your mouth. Your arms slowly slid around his shoulders for support, head tilting as his tongue tangled itself around yours and tugged on it playfully, nibbling your lips as a grin spread across his mouth. His hands slid from your arms to your waist, massaging it through the fabric of your dress in slow and methodical circles.

“You know, (name),” Gilbert purred huskily against your mouth as the kiss became faster and hotter, sending shivers up your spine and making you squirm ever so slightly on the floor. “you look pretty damn awesome as a witch...I forgot to mention that to you...~”

The magic of the moment was broken, however, when your arms slid down just a little more across his back, and you were struck with a horrifying epiphany.

The skin of his back was smooth and bare.

Read: he was not wearing a shirt.

And judging by the fact you could feel something poking against your thighs, you had a pretty good idea that he wasn’t wearing any pants either.

With a shriek, you flung Gilbert away and scrambled upright, avoiding your eyes and making a grab for the first thing you could find. Being that you were in the kitchen, there were a lot of choices.

You chose a frying pan that was resting atop the stove.

And promptly began to go after the naked, smirking, albino Prussian with the heavy object, aiming for his head and screaming, “YOU ASSHOLE, I WANTED CHOCOLATE, NOT YOUR MAN-WHORE LIPS WHEN YOU SAID YOU’D GIVE ME A KISS! I’M GONNA BASH YOUR BRAINS OUT AND FRY THEM UP FOR LIZ AS THANKS FOR HER TEACHING ME THE ART OF THE FRYING PAN!”

Gilbert, meanwhile, was too busy cackling in that insanely demented and disturbing manner of his, easily sprinting out of the kitchen and through the rest of the house to avoid your flurried attempts to smack him with the kitchen utensil. “KESESESE~ THE AWESOME ME GETS ANY TYPE OF KISS HE WANTS, (NAME)~!”

Scratch thanking Vladimir for changing Gilbert into a cat this Halloween.

You were going to kill him via frying pan as well.
I was on my Google Drive thing just now finishing up some homework and I found a document labeled "Prussian Halloween." Confused, I clicked on it.

And found this.

I do believe I wrote this at the beginning of October during school when I was supposed to be taking notes, and I completely forgot about it. So, I figured I'd upload it. Just in time for Halloween. Plus my day was really crappy and reading this cheered me up, and it's another upload, so I couldn't resist.

This is so cracky, I don't even know. And yes, if you have read my series Wolfsbane then you know I love that frying pan.

Oh yeah--I ship PruHun as my OTP, but for the sake of this, RoHun is the next best thing. And lookie, I made Romania a magic dude since he's in the Magic Trio, but he's not a vampire. Points for me, bitches.

Sorry this wasn't exactly Nekotalia. But hey, I thought it was clever. Once I read it, that is. Seriously I don't remember writing this.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Be careful of those Hershey's Kisses. They be cockblocks, bro.

Also PrussiaXFrying Pan, new OTP shot
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmidnaplayer:
MidnaPlayer Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Dammit I'm allergic to nuts TT ^ TT so why didn't I get allergic when he kissed me???
Reply
:iconlupiniunstar:
LupiniunStar Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013
This made me laugh. I loved it, as usual! You're so good writing Prussia, it's amazing. He's really cute as a cat, isn't he? And he's so cheeky, he'd definitely try that kiss thing. Also, I can get down with some RoHun, and good job making him a magician because he's in the Magic Trio. After all, he's in the magic club. 
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:iconemiliasteilsson142:
EmiliaSteilsson142 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Emilia: Hey I vill never kill prussia never
Prussia: Hey emilia did you just talk prussian
Emilia: Nooooo gadda go bye
Prussia: ok bye strange
Reply
:iconhetafan123:
hetafan123 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
i am master with the art of the frying pan. HOW CAN HE DODGE??!!
Reply
:icon0-emoleopard-0:
0-EmoLeopard-0 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XDDD So funny.



It's a beautiful OTP. *steals*
Reply
:iconyamiyuki1:
yamiyuki1 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
LOL Awesome~! I love the end~! ^_^
Reply
:iconcheeseburgerfantic:
Cheeseburgerfantic Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
I only have oneroblem with this story... I hate Butterfingers!
Reply
:iconcheeseburgerfantic:
Cheeseburgerfantic Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012
Problem*
Reply
:icondeer-princess:
deer-princess Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012
Oh my god! >//u//<

What's up with cat-people turning into naked humans while being on top of me?!
Not that I don't like it~
Reply
:iconprussianpersephone:
PrussianPersephone Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You'd better like it. Prussia wrote it and stored it in my Google Drive when I wasn't looking. :|
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