Everybody wants to be a cat,
because a cat's the only cat
who knows where it's at
Your eye twitched multiple times as you glowered at the fluffy gray cat next to you, (e/c) eyes narrowed to slitted points. Your own (h/c) fur stood on end, tail swishing in irate annoyance, and you growled, "Greece...you're not going to fix this, are you?"
The male cat next to you yawned sleepily, revealing a pink mouth inlaid with dozens of sharp, tiny teeth. He stretched his long, fluffy body out, green eyes lazily meeting yours. "Why should I? This is wonderful. I've always wanted to be a cat...and finally my dream has come true..." His words trailed off in a sleepy purr, and his eyes closed again as he curled up in a furry ball, tail coming over his paws and hiding his feline visage.
Your eyes twitched even more rapidly, and your claws unsheathed from your paws--such a strange feeling--as the growl steadily became louder in your throat. "We are CATS, Greece," you snarled, fangs bared in a hiss. "We should not be CATS, but HUMANS. Or at least our human PERSONIFICATIONS. Because we are COUNTRIES. NOT. CATS. Now fix this right now before I flay the fur off of your stupid face right now, goddammit!"
The only response you got was a snore that was meshed with a purr, which enraged you even further.
Let's backtrack a tad, shall we?
You see, you were the country of (name). The lazy ass currently now asleep was the country of Greece, also known as Heracles Karpuski. And somehow, someway, he had managed to rope you into an expedition to some freshly exposed ruins of one of the many ancient temples left over from Greece's Golden Age, thus resulting in your current...predicament.
You and Greece had been changed into cats.
Just how, exactly? Well, apparently the temple had been dedicated to the Greek goddess of chaos, Eris. Greece and you had been poking around the deeper chambers, the ones filled with quite a plethora of interesting artifacts, when the slovenly nation had picked up what looked like an apple made entirely of gold. After going into a spiel about how in myths Eris had tossed the Apple of Discord inscribed with the word Kallisti--"for the most beautiful one"--to the goddesses of Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite and how that simple action had turned into the bloody and horrific Trojan War, Greece had told you that the relic he was holding must have been a replica of said Apple of Discord.
Being the logical nation you were, you had just nodded your head and continued to dig through more artifacts, secretly intrigued by everything around you.
Of course, because life wasn't as simple as you wished it to be, before you knew it Greece had exclaimed some nasty Grecian curse words, there was a flash of golden light, and instead of standing on two legs and having opposable thumbs you were crouched on four paws and covered in thick, silky (h/c) fur.
Next time you went excavating with Greece, you were going to bring England with you in an effort to combat whatever supernatural forces decided to screw with you.
You sighed, giving up in being angry and now instead turning to slight depression as you hung your kitty head in dismay. "...this is just great. There's a world conference tomorrow and we're going to miss it because we're both stuck as cats in this stupid temple to a stupid goddess who just wanted to fuck with everyone's minds. Thanks, Heracles. Thanks a lot. I'll catch a mouse for you to show my appreciation."
"I would like that very much..." the male cat next to you grumbled, making you sigh again. Stupid idiot slept all the time, you could never tell when he was really awake. Before you could make a snide retort, however, Greece lifted his head and met your (e/c) eyes with his olive green ones and said, "Why are you so upset anyway, (name)? After all...everybody wants to be a cat~"
Everybody wants to be a cat
Because a cat's the only cat who knows where it's at
While playin' jazz you always have a welcome mat
'Cause everybody digs a swinging cat
"No they don't," you deadpanned. "You do, because you have a creepy obsession with cats. I want to be in my nice human-country body and CUDDLE with a cat. Not be one."
Suddenly something that you could only characterize as a feline grin of amusement crossed the gray tomcat's muzzle, and he slowly lumbered to his paws, rubbing his face against yours. You stiffened, a hiss making its way up your vocal chords and out of your mouth, fur standing on end. "W-what the hell are you doing?!" you snapped in an angry hiss, finding yourself frozen in...well, you didn't know what.
Greece purred louder, his fluffy tail entwining with your slender one as he continued to rub his body against yours slowly, whiskers brushing against your face and sending a shiver down your furry spine. "Cats are wonderful creatures," he murmured in that sleepy tone of his, only this time it held an almost--no, you couldn't bring yourself to think of it as 'seductive'--teasing tone. "Cats have scent glands along the tail, on each side of their head, on their lips, base of their tail, chin, near their sex organs, and between their front paws. When a cat rubs up against you...he's marking you as his territory."
You made a distasteful squeak-like sound in the back of your throat at his words, feeling your face beneath your fur burn as if on fire. His purr became louder, and suddenly his sharp teeth were nipping along your ear, sending odd sensations all throughout your body. Almost like you...wanted to...
NO! I DON'T WANT TO M-MATE WITH HERACLES! WHAT THE HELL, SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS CAT BODY THIS INSTANT!
"So technically you're mine now, (name)," Greece continued with a chuckle, pressing his furry body as close as he could to yours and stroking your hindquarters tenderly with the tip of his tail. In this animal's body, your senses were definitely five times more than your regular ones. You could literally SMELL the horniess coming off of Heracles at the moment!
...and sadly it was making you...a little excited yourself.
...there's something wrong with me someone please help me I'm going to let Heracles seduce me when we're both cats and then I'm going to end up having a litter of kittens oh dear God I can't let that happen.
You swallowed thickly, determined to not let him get the best of you, only to fail when a content purr started up in your throat and you replied in a husky, teasing tone of your own, "Why couldn't you have just done this to me when we weren't cats, hm~? Didn't have the balls then, Heracles?"
"Oh, I did," Greece answered readily, grinning and olive green eyes shining with a mischievous glint. "I just wanted to prove why being a cat was the best thing in the world, (name)...I'll have to thank the goddess Eris for attempting to ruin our days and plunging them into discord. She merely made it even better...~"
Before you could answer, the larger tomcat had tackled you down playfully, pinning you to the ground and smirking down at you as his tail swished methodically from side to side. He bent his head down and ran his rough tongue along the fur on your neck, causing you to squirm and meow in a slightly pathetic manner, breath quickening.
If you want to turn me on,
Play your horn don't spare the tone,
and blow a little soul into the tune
However, before anything had the chance to happen, another burst of light caught your attention from over Greece's shoulder. Your (e/c) eyes widened as the golden apple that had fallen to the floor from Greece's hands after it had done the duty of turning you both into cats glowed with a bright golden light, becoming so strong that you had to squeeze your eyes shut.
When the light at last died down and you were able to open your eyes once more, it wasn't to the smirking, furry, feline face of Greece-cat. No, it was to the smirking, fur-less, undeniably handsomely sculptured face of Heracles Karpuski, human personification of the nation of Greece. His dark green eyes met your (e/c) ones slowly, slightly long and shaggy brown hair falling in his face slightly from his position of hanging over you.
"Why hello there...(name)...~"
And that's when you realized you were back to being a human personification as well, your (h/c) hair now messy and sprawled out behind you across the ground. You swallowed, face flushed and breathing still a bit ragged as the last bit of the hormones raged through your body, like liquid fire settling in your veins.
"U-Um...h-hi..." you swallowed, squirming slightly underneath him. "Y-You should...p-probably get off of me now..."
Low and behold, you then comprehended that the reason your back felt like it was pressing against cold, hard stone was because, indeed, it was pressing against cold and hard stone. For you were naked. As was Heracles, who lay pinning you to said cold and hard stone. And that thing that was digging into your thighs might have been hard, but it certainly wasn't cold or stone.
"I have no intention of doing so, (name)," Greece purred sensuously, and in that moment you realized you were about to find out just why the sleepy nation did indeed hold the title of having the most sex in a year. It was slightly terrifying how excited your body was becoming by the prospect. You whimpered at the deep and sexy tone of voice he was using, squirming uselessly once more only to have his vice grip on your arms tighten.
He bent his head down again, the tip of his now-smooth tongue slowly laving across your tender throat as he added in a whisper, "I've yet to show you just why everybody wants to be a cat..."
And on that day, Heracles definitely gave you a reason as to why you wanted to be a cat.
Everybody, everybody, everybody wants to be a cat
Everybody, everybody, everybody wants to be a cat
Everybody, everybody, everybody now!