went to a wedding over the weekend. weddings and I don't mix very well.
it makes me overthink things. and my parents made it worse. the bride's brother was a man of honor. he's gay. he and his partner were dancing at the wedding. they made homophobic comments even though they insist they're not entirely homophobic, they just don't accept some things. like a simple dance with no kissing or "gross" crap. bullfuckingshit. they're homophobic. and then they proceeded to get angry at me when I told them that I found it offensive and they were making the wedding worse for me (very politely of course) and started to bitch about how I needed to find a boyfriend and have kids so I could appreciate weddings more.
shut the fuck up. stop treating me like some broodmare. I'm not even straight but I can't tell you because then you'd act like I was a demon.
I am my own person. I do not want to get married. I do not want children. it is not your decision; it's mine.
And here's the thing: even if I wanted to marry them, no one would want to marry me, whether they're male or female. I'm not pretty. I'm not a good person.
it's too toxic here. I need to get away. But I can't. I'm broke. I'm dependent on parents who probably wouldn't give two shits about me if they knew who I really was.
sorry just need to fucking say something before this drives me insane